unlimited words.

  That morning, I didn’t expect anything— then your message came, simple, kind, and somehow, it reached me right where I needed it. When I replied, I wasn’t trying to say much, just being honest— what you wrote meant more than you’d think. It was just a few words, a gesture, but lately, I’ve been missing you more than I want to admit. Life’s been heavy— I lost my job, I lost my rhythm, and worst of all, I lost the one thing that kept me grounded: movement. I can’t walk. Can’t run. Can’t do the small things that once kept my head above water. Someone once told me, “If they leave when you need them most, just close the door. And if they come back, don’t open it again.” But that’s not me. Not with you. I’ve never known how to love halfway— and I still don’t. So if one day, you need something real, something steady— my door’s still open. No pressure, no questions. Just knock. And thank you— for reminding me, even for a moment, that someone still sees me. <3

  I know it always hurts, when everything about you comes crashing back into my life. But you know what? My heart still won’t change, all my love, all my feelings for you. You said you didn’t want to be the bad guy, so you built walls, set boundaries. Yet I feel like I pushed you to meet me once more. And when we did, I knew—you weren’t the same as the one I met last December. But my heart still feels the same. Thank you, for giving me closure, for always leaving me with the best goodbyes. Yet I still can’t control how I feel for you. Now, I’m trying, truly, to let you go. Even when I hear  Cry by Cigarettes After Sex, I secretly wish you’d wish the same. I know it’s impossible. Now, I just need to trust love again, to love myself more, to let you go— the right way. <3

  Last night struck me like a storm, The truth unraveled, cold and worn. I thought you were my destined light, But all we had was never right. You played a game, a cruel disguise, With hollow words and fleeting ties. I gave you all, my heart, my trust, Yet in your game, I was just dust. Now I question, was I enough? Were my walls too weak, my love too tough? I don’t know how to heal this pain, Or find the strength to trust again. So here I stand, a soul undone , Wishing myself the warmth of sun. For love’s a game I’ll fear to play, Since you turned dreams to shades of gray.

  Again and again, SZA sings what I feel within. These lyrics, damn, they sound like you, for you, of you. "Do you mean it when you say it? I believe it, you're my favorite. I took the bait, I taste the poison, again and again, over and over, again. How many ways can you pull me under? Down, down, I'm lost in the sound. I can't think straight when you're around."

  Just listened to SZA’s song, And these lyrics broke me down: "Runnin' away from where I'm from, Never can stay with no one. Lovin' you almost feels like something. When no one's around me, You lost and found me, I was surrounded, With open, open, open arms." And now I can’t stop crying. I remember you, Still loving you, Though we haven’t seen each other in months. Is this true love? Or just me being pathetic? I can’t check your socials, Can’t see your updates, Can’t do anything, Yet, still, I’m wishing you all the best.

  Even your kindness needs a wall, A space where shadows dare not crawl. Not every hand that reaches near Holds love that’s selfless, pure, sincere. Give like the sun, but know the night, Not every soul reflects your light. Guard your warmth, protect your glow, Lend with care, but learn to say no. Your heart is gold, but not for free, Not all who knock deserve the key. Protect your peace, stand firm, stay true, Even kindness must shield  you.

  I thought I was strong enough to face the weight of 2024, but tonight, sadness knocks again, like an old friend at my door. I still don’t understand how can a boy, known for only five months, feel like a story written in time, as if I’ve loved him once before? I don’t know if this is real, if love has wrapped me in its arms, or if it’s just a fleeting ache, a longing I can’t ignore. But for now, all I can do is miss him in silent dreams, whisper a prayer for both our hearts, and hope life gives us what we need.