unlimited words.

when you find your people, the air feels lighter, your heart rests softer, and every smile is true. you don’t have to measure your words, or hold your laughter in your chest. even in silence, you’re understood, and love grows quietly, endlessly. but love is not a prison. if your wings feel clipped, if your light is dimmed, if you fear to shine, then listen to your heart, and think again.

  not again, please.. not again. every time I watch a love story unfold, on screen, in ink, in the glow of moving frames, beyond the moral stitched between scenes, i wonder. how is it that every girl there is a universe of perfection? each one already paired with a man who speaks her storms, who reads her silence, who waits at the edge of her shadows with a lantern in hand? i mean, not every girl has that kind of luck. the kind where kindness is constant, where someone stays, not because she’s flawless, nobody is, but because he chooses her in every imperfect moment, no matter what comes.

  Not every poem wears the shape of love, some carry the weight of warmth unspoken, the echo of footsteps down quiet halls, the hush before dinner is served. Watched something last night, "1 Kakak 7 Ponakan", faces I didn’t know felt like mirrors. The way they laughed, argued, stayed, like they had nowhere else to be but with each other. It made me wonder, when was the last time I looked around and saw  enough ? There are days this place feels too quiet. But maybe it’s not the silence that’s hollow, maybe I’ve just forgotten how full it really is. They say time spent is the only thing we never truly own. Some spend it on screens, some in rooms filled with laughter. Not everyone gets to choose. And me? I’ve been chasing loud things, forgetting that the softest hours, the ones spent doing nothing with people who’ve always been there, are the rarest kind. We search so far for what’s already sitting across the table.

  Today, I just finished two seasons of  Ginny & Georgia. and I don’t know, sometimes I feel like Ginny, sometimes I feel like Georgia. like a daughter, unseen, misunderstood, or a young mom, fighting silent battles just to protect the ones she loves. but you know what? at least Ginny had Marcus and Hunter. Hunter, who truly loved her. and Marcus, who knew her, stayed with her, saw the wreckage and still chose to stay. there was this scene, Ginny told Marcus she couldn't trust anyone, because Georgia, her own mother, once warned her: "Don’t trust anyone. Especially a man." but Marcus, broken in his own ways, held space for her pain, and chose not to walk away. and that’s the tragedy, isn’t it? I don’t have a Marcus or a Hunter. or even a Georgia. each day I wake up, facing everything alone, learning not to rely on anyone, not because I want to, but because every time I try to show who I really am, every time I open up even just a little, they all leave. Not even stay.

  and again, and again a heaviness I can’t quite name settles in my chest today. memories I’ve tried to bury rise like smoke, filling the room with things I wish I didn’t feel. I’m still here unable to move, held hostage by a fractured step. no walks, no runs, just silence and ceilings. I play songs to drown the quiet, edit videos that whisper old stories, some I’d rather forget, some that still sting. this aches in places I didn’t know could break. tell me, please that this will be my year. because it’s already June, and everything seems to be slipping, deeper into the grey.

  one night, the sky turned gold, and silence felt like gravity, soft, invisible, inescapable. it told me; this too is part of becoming. i used to think home had walls. now I know it’s what lingers, like rings around a quiet planet. so I carry Saturn in my skin, not to escape, but to stay grounded while I learn how to float.

  lately, I've been strangely happy— just seeing glimpses of you through your stories. you're becoming who you were always meant to be: the happiest, the coolest, the healthiest, all at once, and all without me. you didn’t reply to my last message. maybe it wasn’t worth replying. maybe I’m not. but still, I miss you in ways I can’t explain, in silences I try not to send again. I don’t want to bother you anymore. I’ve learned how to stay quiet and just…watch. watch your stories update, watch your TikTok bloom. Still, just so you know, I made a playlist about us. It lives here , quietly I don’t know if you’ll ever read my poems. but if you do, you’ll find me in every line that never got to be said out loud.

  That morning, I didn’t expect anything— then your message came, simple, kind, and somehow, it reached me right where I needed it. When I replied, I wasn’t trying to say much, just being honest— what you wrote meant more than you’d think. It was just a few words, a gesture, but lately, I’ve been missing you more than I want to admit. Life’s been heavy— I lost my job, I lost my rhythm, and worst of all, I lost the one thing that kept me grounded: movement. I can’t walk. Can’t run. Can’t do the small things that once kept my head above water. Someone once told me, “If they leave when you need them most, just close the door. And if they come back, don’t open it again.” But that’s not me. Not with you. I’ve never known how to love halfway— and I still don’t. So if one day, you need something real, something steady— my door’s still open. No pressure, no questions. Just knock. And thank you— for reminding me, even for a moment, that someone still sees me. <3

  I know it always hurts, when everything about you comes crashing back into my life. But you know what? My heart still won’t change, all my love, all my feelings for you. You said you didn’t want to be the bad guy, so you built walls, set boundaries. Yet I feel like I pushed you to meet me once more. And when we did, I knew—you weren’t the same as the one I met last December. But my heart still feels the same. Thank you, for giving me closure, for always leaving me with the best goodbyes. Yet I still can’t control how I feel for you. Now, I’m trying, truly, to let you go. Even when I hear  Cry by Cigarettes After Sex, I secretly wish you’d wish the same. I know it’s impossible. Now, I just need to trust love again, to love myself more, to let you go— the right way. <3

  Last night struck me like a storm, The truth unraveled, cold and worn. I thought you were my destined light, But all we had was never right. You played a game, a cruel disguise, With hollow words and fleeting ties. I gave you all, my heart, my trust, Yet in your game, I was just dust. Now I question, was I enough? Were my walls too weak, my love too tough? I don’t know how to heal this pain, Or find the strength to trust again. So here I stand, a soul undone , Wishing myself the warmth of sun. For love’s a game I’ll fear to play, Since you turned dreams to shades of gray.

  Again and again, SZA sings what I feel within. These lyrics, damn, they sound like you, for you, of you. "Do you mean it when you say it? I believe it, you're my favorite. I took the bait, I taste the poison, again and again, over and over, again. How many ways can you pull me under? Down, down, I'm lost in the sound. I can't think straight when you're around."

  Just listened to SZA’s song, And these lyrics broke me down: "Runnin' away from where I'm from, Never can stay with no one. Lovin' you almost feels like something. When no one's around me, You lost and found me, I was surrounded, With open, open, open arms." And now I can’t stop crying. I remember you, Still loving you, Though we haven’t seen each other in months. Is this true love? Or just me being pathetic? I can’t check your socials, Can’t see your updates, Can’t do anything, Yet, still, I’m wishing you all the best.

  Even your kindness needs a wall, A space where shadows dare not crawl. Not every hand that reaches near Holds love that’s selfless, pure, sincere. Give like the sun, but know the night, Not every soul reflects your light. Guard your warmth, protect your glow, Lend with care, but learn to say no. Your heart is gold, but not for free, Not all who knock deserve the key. Protect your peace, stand firm, stay true, Even kindness must shield  you.

  I thought I was strong enough to face the weight of 2024, but tonight, sadness knocks again, like an old friend at my door. I still don’t understand how can a boy, known for only five months, feel like a story written in time, as if I’ve loved him once before? I don’t know if this is real, if love has wrapped me in its arms, or if it’s just a fleeting ache, a longing I can’t ignore. But for now, all I can do is miss him in silent dreams, whisper a prayer for both our hearts, and hope life gives us what we need.

  The airport should be my healing place, A refuge, a distraction from the race. But now, it’s where my fears take flight, A place that haunts me, day and night. I didn’t know it’d affect me so, The tears keep falling, soft and slow, A trauma that lingers, deep and wide, A pain I can't escape, no matter how I hide. Even as I pack, preparing to go, The tears flow freely, an endless flow. Oh, how pathetic I must seem, Lost in the echoes of a shattered dream. Please, return to me my safe embrace, A place where I feel grounded, a steady grace. Now, I have nothing, nothing at all, Just the weight of a life that continues to fall

  At last, your message lights my screen, A fleeting warmth, a memory seen. Once it thrilled, your words so true, But now I see what’s meant to ensue. No more hopes, no dreams to bind, Just letting go, this heart resigned. Will this be the end, or fade unknown? A quiet whisper, I'm now alone. Yet in this silence, strength takes root, To love myself, a sweeter pursuit. For in the time that's yet to come, The better one will surely come. Still, I send you well-wished skies, Though my heart bids soft goodbyes.

  It’s been fourteen days since we last talked, I know you're not as sad as I am. You’re out there, living, laughing, While I’m here, always wishing you the best. No matter how much it hurts me so deeply, No matter how my best friend says you're not the one for me, I can’t deny what I see in you: A kind heart, A quiet kindness, A pure soul. Yes, sometimes your emotions waver, But they don’t change how I feel for you. In the end, I know the truth: No matter how hard I try, I was never yours— Even though you’ve always been theirs. I wish you the best in everything: In life, in love, In whatever brings you happiness. And if you ever need me, I’ll still be here. Perhaps it sounds poetic, even a bit melancholic, But this is who I am— Truly and purely.

When can I put myself first? This ache, this curse, feels unrehearsed. Always placing others above, Yet never tasting their love. You give your all, yet stand alone, Their care for you is never shown. Hurt on hurt, it builds, it stays, A shadow darkening all your days. You’re like the wind, just passing by, A fleeting whisper beneath their sky. Unseen, unheard, you fade to air, And still, they act as if you’re not there. So when will you rise, and claim your place? Put yourself first, find your own grace. For only then will the pain disperse, And life rewrite its bitter verse.

I came across a quote, "No big wins, no problem," And it struck me, made me pause and ponder, This year has been tough, each day a battle, Yet I’ve been so driven to claim victory for myself. But then I realized, it’s not about the race, Especially not against the person in the mirror. It’s about pressing forward, no matter the pace, For surviving is its own form of success, I now know clear. I’ve been through storms, lost pieces along the way, Yet somehow, I’ve made it through each day. I’m not the same, no, I’ve changed this year, Not every fight was won, but I’ve conquered my fear. So thank you to all who helped me survive, Who brought me back, who kept me alive. In the end, I may not have won them all, But I stand here now—strong, after the fall.

I keep blaming myself for everything, Every wrong turn, every broken string. Especially for those I hold so near, The ones I love, the ones I fear. Why can’t I be what they deserve? A steady hand, a calming nerve? Instead, I turn each day to worse, As if I’m living under some curse. Am I that broken, that far from grace? A shadow lost in every space? Can’t I bring joy, a little light, Or warmth to chase away the night? Even for myself, I strive to mend, To gather pieces, to ascend. Yet each time I fall apart once more, A soul adrift, washed to the shore. Now I stand at my lowest point, With fragile heart and aching joints. I can’t face it all on my own, But here I am—completely alone.