unlimited words.

so scared of getting older, the older i get, the more i should think about; the problems --- problem solve experience --- for better future what really matters in my life. overthink and overfeel about everything. trying to let go, trying to keep in touch, trying to be a better person for live a life others don't understand.

2018,  i will start looking within and get to know myself more  to know what is right and what isn't for me . i will give myself a chance  to be better. i will start living it ( re: life ) and  make the decisions i've been so unsure of. i will create my future; dream big, know that anything is possible, treat people with kindness, love myself more, stay positive. i have to be the most important person for myself.

things don't stay forever everything will change i don't want to avoid my life anymore because of my past i must stop blaming myself  for all the shit  i have to forgive myself i shouldn't be denied by my mistakes i need to stop believing that i'm worthless  i  need  to  be evolve.

letting go of all the things i can't control,  of all the decisions. letting go of all the things I can’t change,  of all the moments I’ve wanted nothing more than to be able to fix. letting go of all the fear I’ve created. deciding things will be okay – somehow, someway. deciding it’s time to just be, to let things go as planned, to accept what is and trust in what will be. This is me letting go. For good .                                          (i hope so)

tonight is one of those nights, those night where i fear about my life,  my problems. i suddenly feel down,  i couldn't stop my emotions,  tired.  don't even saying "i feel you" unless,  we have the same chaos,  the same problems, the same mess, the same life. 

i've always been too scared of the reality  sometimes reality is a mess sometimes it's happiness always want something that i can't have call me selfish  always fail call me foolest but that's my reality  i'm being haunted by memories by the feelings by the people i can't handle it they can breaks me  i'm not strong enough  ..and where's the happiness? when thinking  and dreaming everything will be okay, soon. s o o n

"There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the only one option." source: Pinterest . . . . . . . . . "Jangan takut keluar dari zona nyaman kehidupan untuk menghasilkan sesuatu yang lebih baik."  source: Pinterest . . . . . . . . . "Be a better you, for you."