so much pain, in one body. always thinking and believing, everything will be alright, soon soon soon soon soon s o o n ....soon I hope this body, heart, mind, soul, will be strong, survive, till the time, if it really comes.
I feel required to save people, to fix things, to make it better. I need to feel loved and give love as well. I feel everything so deeply, I want everything in this world, I want to hold it tightly, I don't want to lose it. I feel too much. But.. I'd like to think that one day all the love and the caring I try to give to the world will be appreciated.
so scared of getting older, the older i get, the more i should think about; the problems --- problem solve experience --- for better future what really matters in my life. overthink and overfeel about everything. trying to let go, trying to keep in touch, trying to be a better person for live a life others don't understand.
2018, i will start looking within and get to know myself more to know what is right and what isn't for me . i will give myself a chance to be better. i will start living it ( re: life ) and make the decisions i've been so unsure of. i will create my future; dream big, know that anything is possible, treat people with kindness, love myself more, stay positive. i have to be the most important person for myself.
things don't stay forever everything will change i don't want to avoid my life anymore because of my past i must stop blaming myself for all the shit i have to forgive myself i shouldn't be denied by my mistakes i need to stop believing that i'm worthless i need to be evolve.
letting go of all the things i can't control, of all the decisions. letting go of all the things I can’t change, of all the moments I’ve wanted nothing more than to be able to fix. letting go of all the fear I’ve created. deciding things will be okay – somehow, someway. deciding it’s time to just be, to let things go as planned, to accept what is and trust in what will be. This is me letting go. For good . (i hope so)